Positive Thinking For Everyday Life

Be Present, Be Yourself

This post was originally published on Feb. 8. 2014. edited on Aug. 30 2016.

EDIT: We love this clip

Now read the original story and discover what matters in life.

You are 18, Learning, learning always learning. Seems no time for real fun, friends are always waiting for me to do some fancy stuff together.

You are 23 years old, full of energy and expectations. You just finished the university, you are looking for a fascinating job with lot of challenge, you want to build something exceptional, unique, something big that you will be very proud of.

You found the job, not as exciting as you thought at the first time, but good beginning, people are nice to you, they have a lot of fun working together.

This is the first time in your life, when you are waiting visiting mom and dad.

You are 25, you meet with a nice girl in a New Year’s Eve party, she is really pretty and you have a lot of common topics, you are never bored speaking with her. You are travelling to a Caribbean island in the summer, 10 days full of fun, and lot of adventures.

You are 28, the big day arrived, you are married. Your friends and family are around you. You feel this is the end of an old chapter, but a beginning of a new.

You are 30, your first little baby has born, she is so cute, and you never felt such a happiness before. You start worrying about a lot of things connected to her, isn’t the water too warm, aren’t she hungry, does she have any pain. After the first months you stop worrying and you enjoy the time when you are home and play with her.

You are 42, your children does not really like to go to school, but they never stop to tell the stories, what happened to them. You are now a real family with the happiness of having common habits like summer holiday in Italy or visiting grandparents every Sunday.

You are 50, both of your children are going to the university. Time passing so fast. You have enough money to live happily with your wife, things have changed.

Work seems to give less challenge, but you enjoy tutoring newcomers.

You are 58, your father died last year, you were depressed, you wished to hug him every time when you meet with him, you wished you could spend more time together, you wished to tell him “I love you”.

Your are 65, You are talking a lot with your wife recently, you share your ideas, you tell her how important she is. You often go to the mountains to your weekend house, you love hearing the crickets in the summer nights, you love sitting next to the fire. When your children visiting to you, it is always about work and life, but you realized the quality of the life is not about money, job, or parties, quality is how you spend the time with others. Now you never miss to say you are proved and you love them.

You are 70, You read a lot of books, you could not understand why you have no time to read such a good things, you always slipped over them. Small things making you everyday life very funny, your tomatoes are growing and looks really strong and fresh. You love to walk in the woods, they gave shade in the warm days.

You are 80, you had a wonderful life, but you do not understand why the world struggling around you, why is so much sorrow, if there is so much good things, why people are worrying about money, politics, when you know only those things matter, that makes the moments valuable. A hug, saying “thank you”, a touch, a kiss. You wish everybody discover these things, because you have no time tell them.

Deepness Of Learning

Learning in childhood

Do you remember when you were at school, and tried to memorize everyday sometimes totally useless things like name of kings in the history, microeconomics or physical formulas. After a hard day of learning, you felt that you learned nothing, you cannot even remember on simple things, you learned during that day. However after a night of sleeping, when you had the exam, suddenly you were able to recall all the knowledge, and you understand the connections, you connected the dots. It works like magic.

“Chewing the problem”

This lesson suggests that sometimes you had to learn very hard, repeat the same things over and over, It works like the same in every field of the life, when you sport, when you learn and even in your work. I like to call this “chewing the problem”. If you pass easily on an exam, I perfectly sure, you have not learned anything, and it is not because you did not learned it is because you learned only oneaspect of the problem. If you practice you would discover different aspects of the problem. You experiences become deeper and deeper.

Just an example, when you want to make bake a bread, you first put the ingredients together, but you have to knead it to make a dough. The more thoroughly you knead the dough, the better the quality will be.

Another example, when you learn a dance, nothing is more important than the number of repetitions. Everybody could learn even the most complex steps and dances, but to never forget a dance, there should be a lot of practice, deep (permanent) knowledge will emerge after five to six month of practice (if you have a dance class every week).

I am sure you know the proverb “Practice makes perfect”, in other languages it sound more or less like “Practice is the mother or wisdom”, which refers that you could only arrange wisdom, if you practiced a lot. One important thing is, that there are a lot of learning methods that effectiveness is different.

Deepness of learning methods

From my own experiences, the deepness and effectiveness of the learning is the following:

At some of the universities it is a best practice that students help each other in learning by one of them first tries to learn fast the book, than he will teach directly his or her friend, who never heard the book before. The teaching is not perfect, but the “teacher” connects the dots during the speech, and at the end, he will be almost an expert at that topic.

Summary

(1) Transforming information to wisdom is always a process, it takes time and effort
(2) Spending more time on “chewing” a problem, will result higher quality solution
(3) Teaching somebody will result, the best insight in a topic

During our life, we face this situation that we have no direction to go. We should find

The big philosophers and religious people tried to answer this question over the centuries.

Platon thought that the meaning of life is in attaining the highest form of knowledge.

Stoicism said the meaning of life is to free from suffering.

In the schools of Hinduism, the meaning of life is tied up in the concepts of karma (causal action), sansara (the cycle of birth and rebirth), and moksha (liberation).

In Tenrikyo (new religion), one is expected to live a Joyous Life by participating in practices that create happiness for oneself and others.

Most people think in the western countries, that we should achieve happiness in our life. The controversial thing in this concept is that happiness itself is a state, and more often comes from situations, where we did not expect it (a smile, a hug). However we set a bunch of goals, and we associate happiness with these goals.

People trying to reach happiness so badly that they are all unhappy in their life.

There are also people, who are saying this question is like “Why grass is green?”, we are existing because it just happened.

Anyway there is a lot of help and inspiration if we find some kind of meaning.

This question leads to many other question, Am I only body and blood? How do I have consciousness? Do I have a soul or we are just physical entities?

Does good or bad exists? Are there any universal goodness?

Is time only an illusion? Is traveling time reality?

Who is God? Are we also divine beings?

Why we call us consciousness beings?

Everything we are doing is the result of our choices or everything is fully rational, even our ‘decisions’.

What Are We Supposed To Do In Life?

Life is limited in time. We grow up, experience a lot, we learn what we love, but most of the times we learn to love things that others (or culture) suggest to love.

When someone is asking the above question “What Are We Supposed To Do In Life?”, means that he is open to experience more than just living day by day. You are ready for more.

First is first

Collect things you love to do in your life, these are mainly everyday activities, be as precise as you can. I give some hints:

  1. Play/Make music
  2. DIY
  3. Painting, Arts
  4. Writing stories either blog, science book, drama, screenplay
  5. Teaching or mentoring
  6. Being in the nature, taking care about plants
  7. Sports
  8. Photography
  9. Speaking or going out with friends
  10. Programming
  11. Others

For example I love cooking, I like to watch others cooking too, healthy, spicy foods from all over the world. I am not vegetarian, but I know what healthy food means. Someone said in the past:

You are what you eat .

Eliminate things that are not you

Remember what your parents said in your childhood ‘don’t do this and that’ or that you learned at school ‘you are not smart enough to do that’ or even your friends hinted ‘you should not go out with that girl’. These barriers and habits are not you.

There is nothing bad in trying out new things, you are adult in a sense of choices, you can make now your own decisions.

For example in my childhood I was told in the school that I could not speak in public, because I was introvert. Some years later at my workplace I gave a public presentation about Project Management to about 100 people.

Find things you specially like

You remember moments in your life, that was special? Collect them

  1. Sitting next to the fire
  2. Giving surprise to someone without any reason
  3. Smell of you grandmother’s house
  4. Lying on your back in high grass in the middle of nowhere
  5. Seeing your friend smiling
  6. Light a candle
  7. Steam of fresh coffee and a lot of other things

Finding special things helps you to discover the world around you. Helps you to listen.

Accept yourself as you are

You are not a bad human, everyone has bad moments, angry afternoons, bad habits, just accept yourself.

Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them – Albert Einstein

No, it is not an easy task, you should do this day by day. You should accept more things you would realize, you body shape, you voice tone, your thoughts, your intentions, even your bad habits, everything that is described as you.

The reason of your life?

Most of the people said, that you are because some God decided to be here. I can tell you that very spirit was you, who decided to be here.

Explore yourself, in your actions, in your decisions, in the music you hear, in the people who are surrounding you.

You can either choose to work your dream work and express your feelings, thoughts in your work or you can have a hobby. Take time for important things holiday, having rest, going out.

There is nothing enlightened in going to a monastery among people you are not knowing or meditating all day long. Meditate on the train you will traveling with, during reading a book. If you have some idea, make it real, you want to travel to New Zealand, travel in the next week.

Just be.

Only the sky could be the limit.

I would like to explain a pure phenomenon to you, that is called “The Law of non resistance”.

Let me explain the phenomena in brief:

If you kick in a tree, it will hurt really badly.
If somebody throws a medicine ball to you, and you did not catch it, it will hit you, and it will hurt really badly.
If you do not relax your nerves during the day of work, you will have headache, and it could hurt really badly.
If someone is attractive to you, but you fear, that he or she won’t like you, and you miss the ask for a date, yes at the end, it will hurt badly.

Things changes constantly in our life. Nothing happens as we imagined, even if we well plan a date, and it is successful, I am 100% sure, that it does not happened as planned previously.

Take some time to think through where we fail in most cases, and reveal the acknowledgements:

Before you start to anything, never forget to be relaxed, even if it is difficult. Start breathing calmly, and be prepared for everything that comes to you. I know it is contradiction, “How I could be prepared for everything?”, now that is why you should be relaxed. In sports that is why big sportsman try to relax every time, they are not in play. The key to success is, that you should be in a state of relaxation, it starts in your mind, and it will effect your body. If you are relaxed you will harder to get tired. The least resistance in your muscle, the least pain will emerge.

Do you remember the game dodgeball in your childhood? Life works exactly as dodgeball, there are four ways to act:

  1. The ball strikes you, because you did not have the good reaction
  2. You avoid the hit, just by step away from the path of the ball
  3. You try to catch the ball, but it falls out from your hands
  4. You catch the ball, because your hands absorbs the energy of the throw

The most successful players are able to catch the ball. They understand, that they should not stand tensely, rather being relaxed and act according to the situation.

In his book Dan Millman explains the above with his character Socrates, who learned to fight from his teacher Serafin:

- Please, Serafim, I don’t need you to constantly remind me to relax and breathe. I understand your point!
- Doing is understanding – Serafim said.

- In combat, there’s no time to think. Beforehand, you may plan and strategize, but all plans are tentative and must change on the spur of the moment. Whatever happens, there’s only one certainty: It will not go exactly as you expect. So expect nothing, but be prepared for anything. Relax and trust your body’s wisdom. It will respond on it’s own.

Think about fear as a tool, it reminds us that something particular will happen. But it is not more than an alarm clock. We should use as a tool, and we should not let to dominate our thoughts. If the next step seems to be very scary, but your sense tells you, that it is the right thing, never listen to the fear, because it is temporary, it will pass away.

Focusing means “Being in the present” to me, but never focus on particular things, because if you immersed in that thing, you will lose the opportunities that are outside your focus. Some years ago, I saw a TED presentation called The puzzle of motivation.

In the presentation Dan Pink explained “the candle problem”, where a complex task should be solved by the participants. The outcome was, that if somebody has a direct reward (money), their focus narrowed, so they were not able to solve the problem. For narrowed focus people are hard to step out from the circle, they are not open minded.

The true warrior, retains his humanity even in battle. In winning a brutal victory, you may still lose your soul. Those who fight the dragon may become the dragon.

Never forget about your values, winning is not everything. You should only prove to yourself, not for others.

In truth, you have no opponents but yourself. Make peace within, and there will be no one who can overcome you. And no one you will wish to overcome.

Austin SSC

Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson found some interesting things in the science of motivation.

She created two test groups, the first was the “bo-good” (demonstrating how good they are) group and the second one was the “get-better” (learning constantly) group.

For some participants in each group, Halvorson also increased the difficulty level by introducing a few challenges. She interrupted participants to use up some of their allotted time. She threw in extra, unsolvable problems to frustrate them, without telling participants that the problems were unsolvable.

What surprised Halvorson was how the two groups dealt with the challenges. The ones in the “get-better” group remained unfazed and solved as many as problems in the challenging conditions as the easy ones. They stayed motivated and kept trying to learn. The ones in the “be-good” group, however, were so demoralized when they faced the challenges and obstacles that they solved substantially fewer problems than those who didn’t have to face them. And those differences happened just because of how the initial goal was framed.

Performance goals like have 10.000 visitor a day, is a good goal if you own a site, but it does not have any meaning. If you sell clothes because you will know that your customers will be more attractive is a nice meaningful goal. Go back to roots “why” you doing this or that, find

Imagine the ideal world that you would like to live in. In a vision everything is possible, there are no barriers. Write down imagine your vision, wake up if you would like to achieve it.

Most people just “work”, but there are a some people who see their job as a mission. They believe in what they do.

If you boss would offer you more money you won’t work better just harder. Money is not a good quality motivator, because it has not got any explicit meaning. Working better could happen when you care about what you do, when you feel your work is important.

Choose an aspect in your life to get better every day, it could have anything, not just work related.

It makes not only more motivated, but also more creative.

Most of the people find motivation because a beautiful weekend is waiting for them, it is a Definite Next Step, a hope. However you could find similar next steps in your work.

Are you less motivated, your partner could push out from the mood in just one second. People could motivate each other in a long term, and could help to each other when there is a problem. Being lonely with a problem is extremely stressful.

Most people say “I am worthless”, however they have a very nice family with a house, they have happy life. What you have achieved is something that nobody could steal from you. It is yours.

Are People Really Sheeps?

The Milgram Experiment

Milgram (Yale University, 1963) wanted to investigate whether Germans were particularly obedient to authority figures as this was a common explanation for the Nazi killings in World War II. Milgram interested how far people would go in obeying an instruction if it involved harming another person.

Volunteers were recruited for a lab experiment investigating “learning” (re: ethics: deception). Participants were 40 males, aged between 20 and 50, whose jobs ranged from unskilled to professional.

At the beginning of the experiment they were introduced to another participant, who was actually a confederate of the experimenter (Milgram). They drew straws to determine their roles – learner or teacher – although this was fixed and the confederate always ended to the learner. There was also an “experimenter” dressed in a white lab coat, played by an actor (not Milgram).

The learner (Mr. Wallace) was strapped to a chair in another room with electrodes. After he has learned a list of word pairs given him to learn, the “teacher” tests him by naming a word and asking the learner to recall its partner/pair from a list of four possible choices.

The teacher is told to administer an electric shock every time the learner makes a mistake, increasing the level of shock each time. There were 30 switches on the shock generator marked from 15 volts (slight shock) to 450 (danger – severe shock).

The learner gave mainly wrong answers (on purpose) and for each of these the teacher gave him an electric shock. When the teacher refused to administer a shock and turned to the experimenter for guidance, he was given the standard instruction /order (consisting of 4 prods):

Prod 1: “Please continue.”
Prod 2: “The experiment requires you to continue.”
Prod 3: “It is absolutely essential that you continue.”
Prod 4: “You have no other choice but to continue.”

Results

65% (two-thirds) of participants (i.e. teachers) continued to the highest level of 450 volts. All the participants continued to 300 volts.
Milgram did more than one experiment – he carried out 18 variations of his study. All he did was alter the situation to see how this affected obedience.

Conclusion

The results are shocking, this means that ordinary people are likely to follow orders given by an authority figure, even to the extent of killing an innocent human being.
Most of the people are instruction follower, which could be very dangerous, because we can harm people, without any remorse. Don’t be a sheep.

Every human has options in everyday life and in terms of life goals. Positive thinking could help in every cases to make proper choices. Sometimes we do making mistakes, but those could help to make better choices next time. The decisions of the crowd could mislead us, do not trust them, choose again every time.

Coincidences, Being In The Right Place At The Right Moment

A lot of people think that coincidences are things that we should not need to care about, they say coincidences are just happening. The only interesting thing, that we pay general attention to these “nothings”. Somehow we feel, that something strange happening, like a bug in the matrix.

The nature of these events are simply inscrutable, there is no point to count or measure them, but we all know we should do something with them.

First let me tell you a true story happened to Anthony Hopkins.

In 1973, Anthony Hopkins accepted the starring role in George Feifer’s The Girl from Petrovka, based on the book by the same name. He traveled to London to buy a copy of the book. Unfortunately, none of the main London bookstores had a copy.

Giving up, he set off for home. On his way, waiting for an underground train at Leicester Square tube station, he saw a discarded book lying on the seat next to him. It was a copy of The Girl from Petrovka.

Two years later, when he had a chance to meet the author, Feifer said that in November 1971 he had lent a friend a copy of the book—a uniquely annotated copy in which he had made notes on turning the British English into American English (“labour” to “labor,” and so on)—but his friend had lost the copy in Bayswater, London. Hopkins pulled out his copy, he found. “This one?” he asked.

We live in a world of coincidences, but these coincidences are created and driven by our mind, our intention and our feelings. Some of the people called it synchronicity, when the things happening in the right place at the right time, when we are in sync with our own intentions.

Did you ever met with somebody twice at the same day in the corridor, did you imagined somebody in your mind and he suddenly called you? These people have a “message” to you, it does not matter whether you know them.

There could be signs like an familiar animal, a plant, that may appear in a specific time, to draw your attention to something. For myself this is the philodendron plant.

Sudden thoughts, that you would like to read a book, you have almost forget, or if you are in front of a decision, it is always good compare the two alternative routes, the good choice will lookbrighter, and the small hints will reveal it.

For several years ago I read a book called Celestine Prophecy, where coincidences are described as part of the progress of life. Every syncron moment in your life, helps to proceed the next step. If you will follow the path of coincidences, than you will be in the right place. Remember, synchronicity happens, when you in harmony with yourself.

Twins Who Are Completely Strangers To Each Other

Did you ever imagined, that there is an identical person somewhere in the world, who looks exactly like you? Bizarre not?

Francois Brunelle wants to prove the theory, that everybody has a look-alike. He photographed many people who were complete strangers to each other.

Ok, maybe its true two persons with the same look, maybe similar habits too, but what is all about?

There is a theory that connects to reincarnation. Before we born into the body our soul separated its consciousness into two or many parts in order to get to know to his or herself as many ways as he or she can. Do not forget we are all connected in many ways separation is only the illusion of the material life. However there could be people who are a little bit closer to us.

Visual Maps To Understand The World We Live In

Income level differences

Happiness in different countries

Where population growing or shrinking

Languages around the world

See other live statistics on worldometers.info

National Geographic
Source: flamuraliu

What If Your Child Don’t Want To Drink Milk?

Use a simple mind trick, lets see an example:

If you want to get your child to drink milk, you will say the following:

“Do you want to drink a cup of milk?” and the answer would be “No”

Now use magic, and say the following:

“Do you want the milk in a blue cup or a red cup?”

…and he’ll choose a colour and drink his milk!

‘Shocking’ New Study On Human Altruism

A 2014 year study performed by University College London suggests that most people would rather harm themselves than a stranger for profit.

We were interested in quantifying how much people care about others, relative to themselves.

The Experiment

We brought 80 pairs of volunteers in to the lab and led them to different rooms so they couldn’t see or talk to each other. They drew lots to determine which would be the “decider”, and which the “receiver”. The decider then made a series of decisions between different amounts of money and different amounts of moderately painful electric shocks. The decider always received the money, but sometimes the shocks were for the decider, and sometimes the shocks were for the receiver. By observing the deciders’ choices we were able to calculate how much money they were willing to sacrifice to prevent shocks to either themselves or to the receiver.

The Results

We found that on average, people were willing to sacrifice about twice as much money to prevent another person from being shocked, than to prevent themselves from being shocked. So for example, they would give up £8 to prevent 20 shocks to another person but would only give up £4 to prevent 20 shocks to themselves.

From altruistic point of view we find a lot of examples in everyday life when people are doing something not for themselves but to another human being. When we say ‘I am’ we have two important parts the so called ‘Ego’ and the ‘Inner Self’. In everyday life our Ego drives our wishes, but if we find some harmony between our two selves the Inner Self could come in the front, and the behaviour like altruism appears. It is because our Inner Self is not really self centric. In a way we are all connected.

Be the fiercest - Deshun Wang 最帥大爺 - 王德順

When it's time to shine, be the brightest! - Deshun Wang 王德順 人生八十 「該炫自己的時候,千萬不要手軟」 **** Disclaimer: We do not know who the original post is, but we did not film or produce the video. ****